The Pull Factors in Our Lives and the Art of Balancing Them – 1

Dear Friends,

Life is never just something that "flows by." As it flows, it pulls and pushes us. It constantly demands things. It’s never enough; you can’t keep up, you can’t meet all its demands. All of us live with pull factors like work, family, economic issues, health, and relationships. If one lets go, another grabs and pulls.

It was like this in the past too, but now the pull factors are more numerous and more complex. In the past, the main priority was survival. Now, the question is, "How will I add meaning to my life?"

In the past, you’d ask, "Am I hungry?" Now, you think, "Is this job fulfilling me?"

While these examples are loaded with serious meaning, there are hundreds of other meaningful and meaningless pull factors that shape our days.

I see these pull factors as the springs of a trampoline. In the middle, where the tension is just right for bouncing, lies our physical and mental existence. Unless we loosen these springs, we can’t control the stress and tension they create.

Pull factors are actually a natural part of life. Some are internal pull factors, coming from our own inner world, while others are external pull factors, coming from outside. If you have no goals, expectations, or desires, nothing pulls you from within. However, if your goals are extensive and you unconsciously get caught up in these pull factors while chasing them, it’s clear that peace will be hard to find. Similarly, prioritizing external pull factors imposed on us and letting them overwhelm us is the root of many of our biggest problems.

Letting Pull Factors Take Over

It’s good to have goals and pursue them. But knowing when to stop is equally important. Letting yourself get carried away for one or two days is one thing; letting it happen for 5 years is another. If you can’t manage this, you’ll miss out on life. I once met an Olympic champion skier. From the age of 4 until they became a world champion, the champion only saw their family for one week a year. Their sole priority in life was Olympic Championship, and for years, this sportsperson was driven by this single goal. After achieving it, the void left behind was filled by a new goal. The champion chose to leave everything behind and focus on raising their child. Because now, they had a different priority. That’s how life is—when you lean too heavily on one side, you fall short on the others.

Finding Balance in Life

As Tamer Dövücü explains in his Optimum Balance Modeli (OBM), life is a swing between order and chaos. Our ability to adapt to this swing determines our quality of life. In the modern world, there are many pull factors—threats and opportunities alike. And in this world, we’re constantly on alert, either running from something, fighting, or seizing opportunities. In this stress-filled environment, the key to finding our own formula for success lies in understanding our priorities and our circle of influence. In essence, it’s about knowing ourselves. Once we know ourselves, balancing, optimizing, and managing our priorities or pull factors should become our main focus.

Circles of Priority and Circles of Influence

When we perceive a threat or an opportunity somewhere, our mind places that issue in the circle of priority. In this circle, neutrality ends; we track everything there and keep our minds occupied with it. Our dreams, like wanting to live healthily or preparing our children for a good future, reside in this circle. Similarly, when someone gets upset because we couldn’t meet their request, it’s perceived as a threat in our minds. Or, a new job offer that frees us from some troubles but introduces new ones can also be seen as an opportunity.

For example, owning a car is a desire. Until you own one, it exists as a pull factor in the form of "the desire to possess." Once you own it, it transforms into new pull factors like payments, breakdowns, parking, etc.

In short, the circle of priority consists of our dreams, expectations, what others expect from us, and similar demands and desires attached to us. But which of these priorities can we actually achieve? The answer depends on our internal resources and limitations. Managing the circle of priority is essentially an optimization process.

Our circle of influence, on the other hand, consists of things we can comfortably accomplish without strain. In other words, what we are capable of is our circle of influence. As the gap between the circle of priority and the circle of influence widens, and if we fail to cope with it, we crack. We may head toward Anxiety Disorder or Depression.

As we prioritize our pull factors and find answers to the questions "Is it worth it?" and "What is it worth?", we begin to optimize our pull factors and live in harmony with them.

Let’s say an entrepreneur has a dream: thousands of customers and high profits within the first six months. It’s a great vision, but wait—let’s ask: "What’s in your circle of influence?" At this point, there’s limited capital, a lack of marketing strategy, and little name recognition in the industry. In a panic, you start trying new approaches, but each attempt only deepens the previous disappointment. Then, that familiar feeling kicks in: "I can’t do this." At this point, motivation drops, confidence erodes, and creativity collapses. A fluctuation between anxiety and depression begins.

So, what should we do to achieve optimal balance? Without giving up on our dreams, we can break them into manageable parts, optimize them, and move forward. By bringing our priorities closer to our circle of influence, we can handle this chaos. For example, if we shift our focus to something concrete, manageable, and achievable—like "Let me find the first 10 customers and improve the product"—we can create a balanced and peaceful life. Successes within our circle of influence not only strengthen us but also expand that circle. Ideally, our circle of priority should be slightly "stretched" compared to our circle of influence. This way, adapting to bigger dreams and moving toward success becomes easier.

In Conclusion

We can’t escape the pull factors in our lives. But if we don’t hand them the reins—if we hold onto them ourselves—we can choose when to speed up, when to stop, and what to focus on. The pull factors won’t drag us; instead, we’ll manage and optimize them. That’s when we truly live a conscious, peaceful, and free life.

In this bulletin, we’ve addressed the pull factors in our work lives. In the next one, we’ll talk about other pull factors in our lives. Don’t forget to leave your comments!

You can share topics you’d like me to write about through the comments.

Take care of yourself until we meet again in the next issue.

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With love,

Ersin Pamuksüzer

“Your quality of life and your health are a result of your choices. Choose the right ones and be at peace with your choices.”